What should I believe in?

I recently finished reading "The GOD Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. In this book he tells you why a super natural creator almost certainly does not exist and that belief in a personal GOD is actually a delusion.

I do not believe in the all mighty, all knowing god. I have my personal reasons for that. I became an atheist long before I had even heard about Dawkins. But few things in this book, if they are true (they seem 100% true) got me thinking.

Few doubts and questions were raised in my mind. To be frank (and to give due credit to Dawkins) these doubts were always there in my the back of my mind, this book gave me the strength to express them here.

Natural selection or Super natural creation?
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Do we actually believe that human beings and all other living creatures are created by a super natural god. All of us must have read Darwins' Evolution theory during our school/College days.It has been proved beyond doubt that complex living organisms actually evolved from simple organisms over a (long) period of time.

Now please do not get my question wrong. I am not asking where did the simple organism came from. All I am bothered about is do we really believe that we are created by god and evolution has nothing to with it. I certainly don't agree.

Indra:King of gods?
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I find this one very funny.
The only reason I am stating Indra (a Hindu god) is because, that's the one I am most familiar with.Now I have not read any scriptures. Television and internet has helped me to form a notion about Indra, king of Hindu gods. Again, let me make it clear that I have not done any research on this topic. And my idea about it is very minimal.

I find Indra an incompetent, Jealous, coward kind of person. Who is more interested in alcohol, girls and luxury (which are sometimes called earthly pleasures , and he resides in heaven). Tell me will you ever hire such a person to work for you or for your company?  And he is the king of gods. Irony.

Just and Impartial?
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This one pains me the most.
If god really created all the living beings, why doesn't he/she/it treat them equal?  In case of human beings why are people from certain caste/color/religion are more preferable to god than others. Why does certain living creatures has to be sacrificed at the altar of god?

Do we really believe that god is all knowing and omnipresent? Why do we have to go to temples/mosque/church and other places to offer our prayers? Why cant we just sit where ever we are and offer prayers? What I am asking is why are certain places considered more holier than others?

I am not saying believing in god or praying to god is bad. Certainly not. What I believe is praying to god has same affect as sharing your problem with someone whom you trust.Talking to someone you trust calms you down, clears the thought process and helps you concentrate.All I believe is if you want that someone to be god, so be it. But is it necessary that someone has to be a super natural entity?

Dawkins puts it beautifully in his book. He says there is a gap in our understanding of this universe. And we tend to fill that gap by using an all powerful god. But why not feel that gap using science. True, science does not have answer to lot many things currently. But it does not mean that science will never have the answer.



*image taken from http://lukenixblog.blogspot.in/2011/11/scientific-method-proof-and-skepticism.html

Why I Love the Girl I Love

I don't know why I love her. I just do it.

Whenever I talk to her, I forget all my worries. It simply doesn't matter what kind of mood I am in. 

I wont lie. It was not love at 1st sight. I don't even clearly remember our first meeting. (I hope she remembers, I would love to talk to her about this). But something did happen to me. Also I was not kind of a guy who liked to mix a lot. I was introvert, kept to myself and I was boring.

Slowly I started noticing her. She was fun loving, carefree and confident. She smiled a lot, and the way she did it. She was everything, I was not. I used to secretly wish to become like her. And then I started falling in love with her. 

I started looking for ways to talk to her. I still remember the first time I needed to talk to her. I was literally shivering. But slowly I realized that even she was looking for ways to talk to me. I doubt if anything else till than has given me more happiness.

And then we started talking. I realized she was carefree only when she was having fun, otherwise she was a very caring person. Slowly my love and respect for her grew.

When I look back, I fail to understand, why did she fall for me. 

Every moment spent with her is special and I remember most of them. But there are few very close to my heart.  I am not writing those here. I am going to talk to her about those. Actually I should have done it long back.  And then there are few that I dream of spending with her.

Oh, by the way, I am no more an introvert or a guy who does not enjoy his life. Quite a lot of credit has to go to her for bringing this positive change in my life.

I have loads of fun and try to enjoy every moment. But then I am a normal guy. Sometimes I feel frustrated, dejected. And I just pick up the phone and dial her number. The reason I love to talk to her is because, I know I do not have to lie to her.

When I talk to my parents, they expect me to be responsible. When I talk to my friends they expect me to be strong and determined. When I talk to my brother/cousins/relatives they want me to behave like a grown up. But when I talk to her, I can be myself.

I know, even she expects me to be responsible/strong and determined. But she doesn't mind when I go to her and tell her that "I am tired and I need a break". And she understands. To her I can go and tell that I am exhausted and i feel like giving up. She never says "Aise karne se kaise chalega". She will listen and then say something which simply charges me up. Somehow she manages to draw all the negativity out of my mind.

I guess these are lots of selfish reasons for love. And I still don't know why I love her.

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Hmm.. so dear now stop grinning. There are few things I do not like about you. And you know what does things are.

And yes I miss you a lot, and I also miss the old you few times.

A journey from 1996 to 2011

On 31st March 2011 (the day after India had beaten Pakistan to secure a place in the 2011 World cup final) my FB status said:

"For many years now.. I have read it on many newspapers, Watched it on TV/Internet, heard it on FM.. but I have never felt it.. this Saturday.. When India beats SL.. I wanna feel it.."

I had no clue what kind of feeling it was going to be. But when it finally came, like many others, I felt like king of the world. I was happy, I was satisfied. I was out on the streets, I was dancing with strangers. I was shouting at top of my voice, I was going crazy and I had every rights to go crazy.

I don't remember how I got hooked to cricket. Probably it comes naturally to most of the Indians. Even now when computer games are replacing most of the outdoor activities, you can still see children playing cricket outside. Cricket is one of the very few things that unites this vast country.

1996 world cup was a memorable one. Jadeja slaughtering Waqar all around the park, and Prasad giving royal send off to Shoail will always be one of my most cherished moments. Although loosing to Sri Lanka in the semifinal was disappointing, I was not hurt. I was not hooked to cricket emotionally.

1999  world cup was even boring. The only memory i have from this is the 318 run partnership between Ganguly and Dravid against Sri Lanka. I loved that innings so much that, in one of my school exams i described the entire match (Essay on an outing with uncle)

2003 world cup was a good one for us. As the tournament progressed i started believing that we can actually win this. And till date I feel we did not loose the final to Australia but we lost it to pressure of being in the final.
The sixes that Sachin hit of Caddick and Akthar will remain itched in my memory for ever.

2007 world cup was humiliating. Losing to Bangladesh and getting out of the tournament in the 1st round itself was not acceptable.

2011 world cup turned out to be a dream come true. We had the team to win it. And the way Yuvraj reacted after beating Australia confirmed me that we were going to win the it. The following Semi Final and Final matches brought back all the childhood superstitions back. We fought real hard to win both the matches. I don't know about the players, but I was really really tensed.
When the six finally sealed the world cup for us, We conquered the world that day. No words can possibly describe the feelings.

I just wanna thank the India cricket team for making us proud. 2nd April will always be a special day for us. I can safely bet that the world cup win must have made many people to forget their problems and jump in joy. I certainly did.

Rahul Dravid - You will be missed

The Wall

Rahul Dravid retired yesterday. He finally did. It did not come as a surprise. With India not playing any test match in near future, probably everyone was expecting this. At least I was.

I am not going talk about the 180 @ Eden, 148 @ Headingley, 233 @ Adelaide or the 270 @ Rawalpindi. Great men are supposed to play great innings. These innings did not create Rahul Dravid, he scripted these innings. He did not pull anything special out of the box. He was doing what he was capable of doing. There was nothing extraordinary. 

I have never been a big fan of Rahul Dravid. Blame it on the movies or fiction books. Most of them show the lead protagonist as a super hero and not just a mere mortal. And RD is just a mortal.

Now, I have never met RD. Nor I have met SRT or Brian Lara. When I watch SRT or Lara play, I feel something special, something divine. They were definitely destined to success and greatness.They were born to play cricket. RD was not born to play cricket. But he chose to and he was determined. And he finished his career way ahead of Lara and second only to SRT.

RD represented a common average man. A guy just like any other next door. But he showed what determination can do for you. How an ordinary human being can succeed at the highest level. How to stand tall when even the God (SRT) himself is failing.

Another aspect of Dravid's career is his selflessness. In real life we know of many people who keep there personal desires hidden and give more priority to their family or their loved one's. Dravid loved playing Cricket for India. And he gave everything he had for the Indian Cricket team. I can bet, he did not like keeping wickets in ODI. But he did. Again he never liked to open the innings, But he did. He could have said NO. But he did not. Because he knew this was in the interest of the team and if he had to come out of his comfort zone and work harder, he was up for it.

Then another highlight of his spotless career was the way he carried himself on the field. I doubt we will ever come across any other sports man who carries himself with more dignity. He knows he plays a game which is followed most of the Indian population and Kids. He knows what kind of legacy he wants to leave behind for them.

I have a confession to make here. Even I have switched off the TV many times, when Dravid Comes out to bat in test. Not because I do not like the way he bats. Oh I love his cover drives and pull shots. But I know The Indian innings is in safe hand and nothing bad is gonna happen for couple of hours at least.

When SRT comes out to bat, I always feel like what if he gets out next ball, but when RD bats, I know he is going to stay. He calms my nerves down.

I liked it when he said his return to the real world could inculde dropping his sons off at school and shopping groceries. He again reminded us that he is a mere mortal. Just like you and me.

We will miss you Dravid. And you have given us a lot to cherish. We could not have asked for more.

The Wall will always stand tall.

How I spent 2011 - Reliving the best moments

On 1st Jan 2011, My FaceBook status said " In the fond memory of 2010: It was a good year. But I can not say I ll miss it, coz one of the things 2010 taught me is tomorrow always comes....".

As 2012 is setting in, I sit and look back into 2011. I can definitely say I had more smiles than disappointments in 2011.

2nd April 2011 was one of the best days of life. I personally did not achieve anything that day. But like most of the Indians I felt like the King of the World. That night brought out tears of joy.

Jan 2011:
As always Jan 1 started with Lots of drinks, food, fun and friends.

But the best memories of Jan was Goa trip. This was my 2nd trip to Goa. When I am there I always feel like I have stolen few days from my own life. Prakash, Nishant, Sameer and Amit were my partners in crime this time.

From Left to Right: Nishant, Prakash, Me, Sameer, Amit

Guys, I ll not forget the Shots, Volleyball game, The hunt for the Sun Rise, The game to find out who is the most Kamina, Nishant's quest to drawn me and Prakash's  gala kharab hai. It was all fun.It was here only I realized few things in life does not change.

Me @ Anjuna beach in 2011

Me @ Anjuna beach in 2008

Feb 2011:

The month my brother got married. And gave me a very sweet bhabi.Took a break of two weeks from office. Worked hard and had fun like crazy for this. I love my family. I love them.

My Family

Mar 2011:

The world cup fever @ its peak. All the matches speak for themselves. But what stands out is epic clash between India and Pakistan. These pics will tell you the story of my feelings.

5th Wicket	6th Wicket
7th Wicket	8th Wicket
9th Wicket	10th Wicket

Apr 2011:
And a six sealed it. We conquered the world on 2nd April. No words can describe the feelings. probably this video will.

This was the day I danced with strangers on the street. This was the day when Everything was Possible.

Then AV's (arpit's) birthday celebrations was first in the series of crazy celebrations with my roomies @ Tulip-101.

May 2011:
May was an becoming an uneventful month till Hampi happened. Its an amazing place to go and see some the most beautiful architecture of Ancient India. Some of the pics:

Jun 2011:

I completed 1 year in Hyderabad. Had a nice party. And this is the month I read "Tuesdays with Morries", and my interest in books was reignited. Sorry No pics for this month.

Jul 2011:

I completed 4 years of professional life and wrote something for the 1st time. Warning you its not good.

But best was another trip to home and the Chillar party- Birthday celebrations of Aanya and Krish.

July ended with a trip to Dudhsagar.Easily best place i visited in 2011.

Aug 2011:

My Birthday falls on 8th. Nothing much happened that day. But i wrote another article on Dudhsagar. Do read this one.

Mid August, I went to Banglore to meet my College friends. Relived the VIT moments. But while I was there, On 14th night i was asked my a stranger "Tum Hindu ho ya Muslim"? I never knew why he asked this. But It did not feel nice.

But what stole the show in August was our trip to Bhawani Islands. Its a very nice place in Vijaywada. Few pics:

Entering the islands

As if there is no tomorrow

Sept 2011:

September was the 1st time my FB status said "Lalit Agarwalla is bored to death.". This month Indian Cricket team traveled to England and was beaten 4-0. I joined guitar classes.On teacher's day I dedicated this to my teachers. And I again request if anyone of you can help me with this.

Oct 2011:

We had lots of parties without any reason this month. We ate out almost every other day. Started playing badminton regularly. We just landed up at each other's place and had loads of fun. It felt like I have either gone mad or have become a teenager again. 

Then came Diwali, and I was off to home again. Nothing cheers you up more than spending Diwali at home. 

Diwali Puja

Nov 2011:
November was probably the dullest month for me in terms of outdoor activities. I also discontinued my guitar classes this month. But I did have quite a few moments which I will cherish for ever.
To make the month more boring India played WI in a meaning less series. Sachin did not score his 100th Century. This month could have been much better had Aussies been bundled out for less than 25 @ Capetown. They were 21-9 at one point of time and went on to score 47.

Dec 2011:
Dec started with Aikya-4th Annual day celebrations of Pegasystems. I guess this was only the 3rd time i have gone on to a stage for performing something. But I enjoyed every moment of it. This was probably my best day in Pegasystems till now.
Then One of my best friend, Gaurav, got married in this month. We had an amazing time in his wedding. His wedding and most importantly his family taught us few very important things of life.

And then there was Annual day celebrations @ Angel & Krish's school. This day made me realize that Girls are born dancer and guys are simply nuts by birth.

Finally 2011 ended with a nice party @ f-lounge.

In a nut shell, I had an amazing 2011. I have no regrets no complains. 2011 was a good year for my personal and social life. In 2012, I hope to continue this and I ll try to make sure I have a better professional year as well.

Sanghi Parivar

Ok, Before you start reading this, Let me warn you. If you are not a Marwari, that too from Sanghi Family who hails from Kanwat, Rajasthan (Garg gotra), then this blog might not interest you. Still, I request you, if you can, please share this on your profile or website or anywhere, so that this blog has some chance of achieving what is aims to.
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This July, My Dad showed me a hand written note made by my grand father. The paper had turned yellow. Ink had faded. It was difficult to read what was written.It appeared like a big flow chart has been drawn on a small piece of paper. My father told me, it's our family tree. Your grand father has very carefully traced out our genealogy on this paper. I tried a little harder and I could read my father's and uncle's name at the bottom of the paper.

And my father told me that he wanted to make sure this family tree is properly maintained. This was not a tough task. I promptly took out my laptop and created a word document and also added my, my brother's and my cousin's name to the list. It was all very simple.

You can download the family tree from here.

As you can see, it traces our family to 8 generations back. But it traces only My Grand father's Father's (Marked in red colour) family. It does not say anything about any of his brother's family. And also we have no idea who they are. And suddenly my dad told me that he wanted to expand this family tree to include them and also get in touch with at least one of them.

This is a tough task. How do I do this? Agreed Internet has shrunk this world. But how can I search for someone or rather someone's descendants after 4 generations. And only thing we have is their first name. Then one day I saw this Airtel 3G Facebook AD (Kanthilal). And I thought, I got to try something similar.

So friends here I am trying my luck out. I m not very sure or confident that this will work. But as they say: "You risk failure when you are trying. But by not trying you ensure it."

Request you to get in touch with me at lkaagarwalla@gmail.com. or leave a comment ,in case you happen to be part of this tree  or you know some one who is.

Also request all of you to share this, so that I have some chance of fulfilling my father's small wish.

Here is the link again. If you are not able to access the link, here is how my family tree looks.

Family tree, Sanghi Parivar, Garg Gotra, Kanwat-Rajasthan

Thank you, Sir

Life does not come with a manual. Most of us need someone to guide us through the initial phase of life.

I was lucky to have some very good teachers as my guide.

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One of Kabeer's doha says:

                Guru Govind Dono Khade, Kako Lagoon Paay,

                Balihari Guru Aapki, Jin Govind Diyo Batay.

When I was in school, i was made to learn this. And if i can remember correctly what it means is:

“Kabir says, if teacher and God both are standing before him, he will first bow to his teacher and not to God". And he explains why.

Now for most of my life I have been an atheist. So I never had to choose between God and anyone else. But if I have to choose someone as God, I will opt for my parents and/or my teachers.  This teacher’s day, I pay my respect to some of my teachers.

I was born in Rairangpur, a small town in Mayurbhanj district in the Indian state of Orissa. Now, 26 years later, I am working for a multinational company. I would not say success has already kissed me, as there are plenty of things that I still need to achieve. But whatever I have become today is the result of many factors. 

We all meet many teachers/professors during our school/college days. We love to bunk classes, make fun of them. And we hardly ever like to listen to them. But sometimes we come across someone special and few things in life changes. We probably do not realize the change at that very moment. But when we look back to our school/College days, we always remember them with  smile and gratitude.

Now I have been lucky to have been tutored by some great teachers. I probably do not remember them for what they taught me, but I will always be indebted to them for making me believe in myself. It’s not what they taught made them special, but it’s how they taught.

I went to school (Sri Aurobindo Integral Education Centre) only because my parents got me enrolled. But I was only 4 then. Was I supposed to know what happens in school? My overall performance was average. I made some friends. (I am still in touch with few of them)

There was one guy who was very smart, hardworking. He always used to come first in everything, be is academics, quiz or sports. Then this happened. One of the teachers (Patra Sir) told that guy, you may be better than Lalit (that’s me) today, but mark my words "one day Lalit will be more successful than you". I never knew what prompted him to say this, but that was a huge confidence booster for me. There was someone who showed more faith in me, than I had in myself. For the records, that smart guy is still way ahead of me and I wish him all the best. I hope someday my teacher’s word will come true. But competing with him is not what I want, and also I realize this is not what my teacher must have meant.

After I passed class V, I needed to change my school. The choice for new school was not a tough one. There were only 3 schools in my town for class VI onwards. And all of them taught till class X. Out of these 3, one was for girls only. To make the choice even simpler, I have not even heard of one of them, and my two elder brothers were already studying in the other one. So I ended up in Rairangpur High school.

In class VI, Mr. Munindra Nath Parida came as math teacher. I went to him for my private tuitions as well. Now everyone knows the saying "you can take the horse to water, but you cannot make it drink". But he made me drink. It was him, who actually ignited the fire in me. It was him who taught the value of education in life. I owe him lot for making me what I am today.

For class VIII-X, I went to Mr. Kali Prasanna Mohanta for my private tuitions. What I learnt from him is -- Yes Education is important in life, But it’s not everything, and you learn only when you enjoy it. Best part, he never made me mug up any formulae, he encouraged to figure out a way so that it strikes you, rather than just mugging it up.

Anyways, I wrote Xth exams, and passed with dissent marks. And the need was now to search for a college.There was only one in the town. And my marks in Xth were not good enough to get me admitted to any other better colleges outside my town. And I joined Rairangpur college for my XIIth (+2).

But before I could join College, I needed to decide the stream I wanted to join. We had options of Science, Commerce, Arts. Now if your marks are good you take Science, if average than Commerce and bad then Arts. That’s how the streams are decided in my town and it hardly depends on personal choice. My marks were good enough to get me a seat in Science. One of my elder brothers was already in science and the other in commerce. But my elder brother and father decided I will not be able to tackle the pressure of science, and hence I should be joining Commerce. And I agreed.

 Then entered Mr. Kishore Behera. He somehow convinced my father to get me enrolled into science. He has never met me before. And his reasons were simple, if he does not do well; he can always switch to commerce in +3.  One more incident of someone else having more faith in me than I had in myself. Later I went to him for private Chemistry classes. He was one of the very few teachers in the town who actually cared to teach things that were being taught to other students in better colleges.

I always loved Mathematics. I was fond of solving problems. I loved the very funda of Calculus, 2/3-D geometry, equations, and numbers. But I hated one particular topic, “Probability”. One particular day i got so fed up, I just I told my math teacher, Mr. Hemanta Giri, I cannot do these sums and it’s a waste of time for me to try and solve them as I will never be able to solve them. Then came his reply. Which I will never ever forget in life. He simply told me: "Lalit If you think, You cannot do these sums and you do not understand these sums, Then it’s better for me to stop teaching this. If I cannot make you understand, there is no one in the entire college who will understand this". I don’t remember what my reaction was. I almost went blank. Here is one more teacher who has more belief in me than I have in myself.

This is how the college years came to an end. Then I joined Vellore Institute of Technolgy for my B-Tech. But by then, I had full confidence in me. I saw people from all part of India from some very good colleges there, and I told myself I might have come from a small place and yet I am there rubbing shoulders with them. So there is no need for me to be afraid of anyone. But it was because of all those teachers who have helped me develop all that confidence in me. And how I performed in VIT, well all my friends know about it.

Thank you Sir, I will always be indebted to all of you.